Joseph the Beatboxer on Nouvelle Star

Um.... DAYUM!!

Cry Me A River (Acapella)

Awesome!!!

Hmmm...

Life is not fair sometimes. And that's all I have to say about that.

Isn't it ironic?

It's funny, I had a little moment today while in a meeting with my client - we were discussing how exactly we envision the customers and how best to suit their needs. Which sounds dandy and of course is an interesting project, but when we starting categorizing the customers into groups, it made me realize that this is how corporations see us: "young spender", "middle-aged mortgage owner" or "retiree". I realize this is the only way to make marketing effective - to group similar people into one group and create a strategy/campaign that they will all likely respond to in the same way.

It just seems ironic that we spend our lives trying to stand out, be original and unique, when in the end we are labeled anyway, especially so concisely as a "young spender" in my case. Especially since my recent motto is that "boring is boring" - I'm always worried about people who might judge me, but really the tragedy is to be forgotten! I'd take a little judgment than be lumped into that grey mass that no one knows and labels using just a few words. We don't deserve to be dumped into one category, but you have to fight to make your individuality apparent - that's definitely a goal I can work towards.

What the deuce is this!??!

1,500 Philippino prisoners choreographed and dance the Thriller - whaaaaat?

Another jam-packed weekend

So the past few days have been pretty hectic… after flying back home from Montreal on Thursday night, I had a few hours to get ready for the United Way event organized at our Markham location and to pack for the cottage so that I could leave straight after work. The United Way event was a HUGE success, and left such a good feeling except for the people who ruined it for me after. I don’t even want to get into the rage-inducing details, but all I have to say is that office politics far surpass people’s desire to do any greater good, and that I have much more faith in students doing a good job at these kinds of events than I do in adults. They seem to be more concerned with outward appearances and credit than with the actual purpose of the event, and maintaining monopolistic control over whatever they can. I don’t get it, and I have a growing distaste for these kinds of people. But really, to conclude, double the amount of projected people showed up and everyone had a great time - we raised about $1200!!

Anyway, after the exhausting BBQ, I met up with Eva and Sanjay at Finch station and we drove to Jim’s cottage. It ended up being on a small island on Lake Joe (which neighbours Lake Rosso) with Kenny G in the cottage next door! Which yes, is kinda lame but still kinda cool? Anyway, point being I’ve rarely seen such a nice cottage with nice toys and amazing food. We got spoiled in every way possible. Saturday was a flip cup competition and ended off with a hung-over 2 hour ride on the kayak for moi and swimming and chillin for others. The only bad part was my stupidity in not putting any sunscreen on and therefore still hardly being able to sit comfortably. We ended off at Eva’s boss’ cottage, which was one of the nicest cottages I’ve ever seen. DAMN.

Once we got back into Etobs, Eves and I went for a little golf action in Centennial for about ½ hour. I (surprisingly) didn’t get any rage and even (gasp!) enjoyed myself. We are playing a tournament in mid-August, so we are trying hard to really not suck and embarrass ourselves. As much.

P.S. The picture above is from a dance party from Saturday night, which was epic and consisted mostly of Eva and myself. Kudos to the Polaks.

Montreal week 3

So this week was my 3rd week traveling on this project to Montreal... I have to admit it's wearing on me a bit, but I really can't complain. I've got my groove down with what to pack, where to stay, where to eat etc.... I have yet to meet any local people, but I'm sure that will come with time.
Every week Trish leaves after work on Wednesday, so when it comes to dinnertime it's up to me to decide what I wanna do alone. The past few weeks I've gone on walks around the city, which is nice cause it's the only chance I have to do that, but this time I stopped for some pesto pasta on Rue Crescent, which seems to be a pretty happenin place in Montreal. I chatted with people and read my magazine while at dinner, and when I was done these 2 older men approached me. One tried to offer me peanuts, and the other told me he owned a very high-end clothing store. Both men were Lebanese, and the peanut one told me about his stories as a pilot and current travel agency. Usually I would dismiss these fools for being too old, but it was a social and funny break in my solitary evening. The only bad part came when my friend Wassim, who recommended the place, realized later that it's often frequented by EE (Easter European ladies) and the older ME (Middle Eastern) men that want them. How nice.

Otherwise, I'm feeling my lack of time in Toronto this week - I literally got home after 9, chilled and packed for the cottage this weekend, and organized stuff for the United Way event we're throwing. I am leaving right after work to go to Jim's cottage, then come back, pack for Montreal and leave Monday morning. Did I mention I'm traveling with my dad this time?? Iiiiiiinteresting...

And so it begins

Friday night we went to a lovely dinner at Saint-Tropez in Toronto. The goal: to see Maha and celebrate her last weekend before she starts the intense chemo process, which starts today and if all goes well, ends in the beginning October. It was the first time I'd seen Maha since her operation, and all I have to say is that I've rarely been so impressed by someone. She talked about the cancer openly: buying a wig, where to live during her treatment, what her plans are after the cancer and so on. I had never considered the 'everyday' parts of dealing with the disease, other than the big picture of actually fighting it, beating it and living a long full life. She talked about the more serious impact the cancer is having on her too - how to rebuild her body after the mastectomy she had, the effect of the chemo on her ability to have children, which I never knew was an issue.

Point being, this has been a sobering experience for all her friends, especially the women in our group. We are all thinking of and praying for Maha, since her attitude is really an inspiration for everyone of us.

Woo woo

Now this is the kind of news I like reading.

Not only are more teens completing high school, but the rate of teen pregnancy and those having sex is decreasing. It's pretty refreshing that all the effort that has gone into campaigns for safe sex and the importance of education is actually working.

On another note, the Globe and Mail published an article today about the fact that Canada is really high on the list of countries whose citizens smoke a lot of pot. I have to say, given even my group of friends from high school/university, I am not surprised at this stat at all. It seems that people have a pretty easygoing view on smoking weed, although funnily enough we tend to judge people who smoke cigarettes or drink & drive pretty harshly... the stat shows the rate of smokers at about 18.6% in the past 3 months, which is about 1 in 5 people. Which means at least 2 peeps on my team are statistically potheads... figuring out which ones they are will make for an interesting day today.

Esmee Denters singing ``Unwritten`` by Natasha Bedingfield

I am really starting to love this girl...

Sister, sister

So I had a nice (read: extremely delicious, expensive and wineful) dinner last night with a few colleagues from work (T and Wymond), and we inevitably dicussed relationships and Wymond's relationship with his 3 daughters (no sons). He talked about how much more fun but complicated it is to raise girls, because of all the extra ‘drama’ that can happen to them, but that he felt better equipped to handle them because he grew up with 3 sisters himself.

That got me thinking about this theory that I have that men who have at least one sister are a lot more prepared to deal with relationships with women (or at least have a very dominant mother, female cousin, you get the idea). However, the theme of the “man with a sister” is so powerful that I find that every guy I have a close relationship with has at least one sister, and often times an older one.

I can say with confidence that I think my brother is an excellent person (among other factors) because he has an older sister. That sounds extremely cocky, and it’s not meant to because I am not crediting myself with his upbringing, but simply the fact that as a child, he had a female to analyze and understand as I was going through the different phases in my life. Now that I am slightly less crazy and more mature, he seems to “get” me and what I’m going through without me having to say much about it. Although now he’s at a disadvantage because he is just TOO mature for his age (hahaha, poor Adam).

Anyway, on that note, I have to say that despite my being brought up with excellent male figures in my life (note: grandpa, dad, Adam and more ‘uncles’ than I could count), I don’t have an easy time understanding guys at all. In fact, I think I am usually attracted to guys that are the exact opposite in some ways to my role models (although they are always nice guys at least). I really find the whole concept of dating extremely difficult, and stay on a plateau of “this is not for me” which is interrupted by very rare moments where I meet someone I have a connection with (which has happened maaaybe 4-5 times in my life), I wear my heart on my sleeve and then get it broken, and then the plateau continues at an even lower level than before. Plus I feel like men have this evil radar that as soon as they sense a girl is finally over them, they renew contact and bring up all sorts of emotion. It’s exhausting. So on that note, as of today (along with my friend Eves), I am making a conscious decision to think much less about all those shenanigans and really focus on ourselves, so that our love lives become secondary concerns.

On a separate note, I just found out that I added something called sitemeter to my profile, which tracks and categorizes the people that visit your blog! Pretty cool - although I expect most of my leads to be Google searches like “young, 20-something cynical traveler”.

Robots have feelings..? But Western people don't.

An interesting weekend - Friday was a reunion party for Western kids, which was an interesting event. I started off the evening with drinks and food at Ki, which I am really starting to get addicted to (especially those lychee martinis, you don’t even see those coming and all of a sudden you’re a very happy tipsy girl). The night then progressed to dinner with the girls at Monsoon for Summerlicious, which I couldn’t enjoy because of too much edamame at Ki. Anyway, the 2 bottles of wine were enjoyable and made going to the Phoenix that much more bearable.

We girls were dressed to the nines in our high heels and freakum dresses, and arriving at the Phoenix was kind of a shock. I had been there before, but some girls’ first impressed was the dingy alternative music room, which I’m sure freaked the Western out of them. Thankfully, they were comforted with $2.50 drinks and the more Western crowd that arrived pretty late into the night. By 1am I was done (as were my feet) and I took good old faithful (a.k.a. the subway) back home. The Western crowd didn’t disappoint, in that they are just as hot and generic as they ever were, and not much has changed since I left.

Saturday evening I went to see Transformers, which was surprisingly good considering the crap reviews it got. I have come to expect that I get emotional at movies (the whole separating film from reality doesn’t work for me), but I didn’t expect Transformers would evoke any kind of feeling. They totally worked the girly angle, and gave the Transformers human sounds and practically made them cry when they got hurt, including puppy dog eyes etc. Of course I didn’t cry, but that whole scene tugged at the heartstrings a little. Pathetic isn’t it??

I ended off the weekend with a chill day of TV, shopping, work and taking it easy with Eves. And some late night packing because I couldn’t get to sleep. Sometimes I’m glad I live at home because I wouldn’t want to subject a boyfriend to seeing me wake-up at 5am in a rotten and tired mood (poor Adam, he deals with a lot).

Montreal week 2 underway! We shall see how this one rolls out… no skunking yet; the boys are actually really sweet here. Although I may be proven wrong when Trish and I go out on the town…

Mon becomes Monique

So today was my first day in Montreal... I must say, traveling for work feels a little odd and I actually felt like the whole day was a little surreal. I couldn't sleep last night after a little drama with Jake and a Facebook relationship (who knew that writing on someone's wall was public information??) and got up this morning on minimal sleep.

Up at 5, out of the house at 6, leaving Toronto on a jet plane by 7, in Montreal by 8. Unfortunately the nice flow of the morning (including a nice nap on the plane) was ruined by our crazy mofo of a cab driver who literally almost killed us 5 times in 20 minutes. I am on the more aggressive side of driving, but DAMN - I didn't even look as we were driving and instead focused on Trish so that I wouldn't see the truck almost smash us or people giving our cabbie, and indirectly us, some crazy French insulting gesticulation.

I spent all day with no internet, in my cubicle with all the information one could want about segmentation and trying to finish off work from Toronto. I was on no food til 2pm (which is rare for me), after which a huge meal of pad thai polished me off for the rest of the day. The group of guys working on the project with Trish and I are a very interesting assortment of people - I was fascinated with just "people watching" our group dynamics - really fun.

Anyway, as I am writing this I am sitting in my Hilton bathrobe in my exec suite after taking a bath in my huuuuge bathroom, eating a chocolate covered strawberry for dessert and choosing which side of my king sized bed to sleep on. Hard knock life? Perhaps not. I have to say, I could really get used to this... although I have a funny feeling that I only got this sweet room becuase my dad booked it with his sweet, sweet exec card which I don't own. But we'll see if I can work my magic tomorrow and try and book this room for the rest of my 2 months here.

Between work and sitting in my yummy white bathrobe, Trish and I went for dinner at Otto, the restaurant in the W hotel. We had the best meal - basically split an appetizer, entree, dessert and bottle of wine - delicious! We then took a wine-y walk down Sainte Catherine and watched the jazz festival from the sidelines and then stopped at PharmaPrix (which is Shoppers Drug Mart in disguise. We had the best talk and laughs, and then headed back to our hotels to get to bed... but I couldn't help appreciating my second last night in my sweet hotel room (which is really my first night).

God bless Montreal!! and Hilton Hotels!!

Mon the artist

After a tough weekend and Monday, my friend Ashley decided to help me relax by inviting me over for a delicious dinner and to paint. And by paint I don’t mean her house, I mean on real canvas and requiring skill and inspiration as an ‘artist’. I frequently bailed out of or avoided art class when it came to drawing or painting, because, in short, I SUCK at it. Even Van Gogh, who looks kinda easier it actually really hard to imitate. I tried another strategy, and as Ashley put it, did a lot of blending and hitting the canvas with a paper towel full of paint. It sounds kindergarten, but it actually turned out well for a first effort. Ashley rocked her painting, and then serenaded me with “Girl, put your record on” which I now can’t get out of my head. Thanks Assley.

On a separate note, I just wanted to comment on how waiting to find something out or ‘not knowing’ is really, really getting to me. I think, like most people, I can be ok with receiving information and getting closure, and that will help me move on. But I can’t stand the wait for that information, because it involves me overanalyzing different scenarios (and usually worst case) while the other person has no idea what’s going on. GAH! I hate it. I will feel much better when I just know what’s going on. This little rant is obviously about me waiting for ...something... it's happening across multiple areas of my life right now and I despise the wait!

Update (on one part of the wait): the surgery went well and it hasn’t spread to the right breast, which is one piece of good news.

What crappy news

I just found out this morning that my friend is going in for a mastectomy this afternoon.

She went in for a check-up with her doctor on Thursday, and was basically told she has an advanced form of breast cancer and that she will have to have her entire left breast removed and possibly her right.

We all feel pretty numb right now- how do you react to news like this when you hear about it being a woman your age, let alone a friend? I can’t even imagine what she is going through right now - the prospect of losing a physical part of being a woman, and of dealing with months of chemo and possible surgery and all of this being thrown at you within 4 days!! I am not a religious person, but my prayers are with Maha and her family.

The 100th post!

I was looking at my past posts, and realized that this is in fact the 100th one! Can't believe I made it this far... it almost coincides with my blog's 1st birthday, but by now last year I was already in Barcelona so I'm a little late in my anniversary.

Today has been a somewhat big day - Adam graduated (UT is over man), it's my mom's nameday and the first day of summer. Although it feels like this has already been a jam-packed summer what with my trip and all the patios and going away parties already...

In retrospect, the amount of personal change that I have gone through in the past year is incredible. I have graduated, gone on one big trip to Europe mostly by myself, started a new job, had several different 'relationships', lost the friendship of one of my best friends and reconciled with another. All this, and trying to manage living at home and dealing with the new dynamic with my parents, and trying to find out exactly what it is I want from life (I am after all nearly a quarter of a century old). The icing on the cake at this one year mark has been the trip that I just returned from, after which I'm sure is evident that I have yet to recover.

The whole year has actually been somewhat routine, with spurts of big changes that happen over a few weeks. I feel like this is one of those phases full of milestones, and that it will be a time of being in limbo until something gives. I've learned that the minute you think you have things figured out and get some confidence, life has a way of humbling you. After all, since my trip last year I felt very in control and decided about what my priorities were, and within 1 week it has all changed.

I'm excited to see where I'll be another year from now, or even a few months from now! It's all very fun (and terrifying and stressful and nerve-wracking hahaha) to know that anything can happen, and that 6 months from now I could be in a completely different environment. Cheers to new beginnings, to change and to keeping up blogs to remember how much I've forgotten.

A new perspective..

So the word of the day today is “whatever”. And “booo”. And “crap”. Basically any word that indicates some feeling of negativity, (feigned) indifference or profanity. Which is basically my mood for the past few days. Except when it comes to completing my work of course, because of course I am diligent when trying to write this RFP response in the next 3 weeks (eeek).

I can’t seem to get out of the funk after my trip, and it seems that it as affecting more than just me. My family/friends are either frustrated with me, or hurt by my confusion, or just don’t get how I feel. I keep feeling that this trip was different, and I can’t tell what it is except that I feel unsettled and confused and can’t get myself together like I was before the trip. Even midway through the trip I was thinking that I didn’t mind living and working in TO, and that I was homesick, but now I can’t the thought of some big drastic change out of my head.

My friend told me to write stuff down, so this is my promise to myself: I am giving myself til the end of the summer to see if I can shake this feeling, but if I really can’t, then I am committing to making a big change by the end of September. The lease on my car runs out then, and I think it will be the catalyst to leave the security of the family nest and move out - that could also include a move across the ocean. I am promising myself not to limit or disregard any possibilities, and to really think about what I want (and not what others want for me).

Wow, that feels much better. The new word of the day is “ok”, as in it will be.

Lessons learned from vacation

1) Traveling alone is not as appealing as it was last year

I have to say, last year I loved the fact that I was traveling alone, and took a lot of time to write and 'discover' myself. I've had enough of that this year, what with starting a new job and constantly focusing on becoming more self aware. The travel alone this time was even more pronounced becasue I had such a good time with friends, so there was a constant comparison... I still like the fact that I could dictate my own terms though, and it's still a better way to meet people. How else could I have gotten to know the fam so well?

2) People will still like you even when you're not wearing makeup, have your hair done and wearing high heels

I know this seems like such a shallow thing to write, but because I live and work in Toronto, not coming to work looking well-maintained is unacceptable. So I got used to the fact that needing an hour to get ready was just a part of my day. In Croatia, my daily routine was basically brushing my unstyled hair, throwing on some sunscreen and my bathing suit and heading out. Lo and behold, the people I met didn't even care about all that, and I even managed to meet someone while 'au naturel'. It just changed my perspective on what people are really like, and that people really do care about your personality above it all.

3) Things always happen faster when on vacation - your normal rules don't apply

Thank God for this one! My vacation in Europe required a more 'relaxed' Mon, and it was a thousand times better because of it. I could dabble in some vices that I usually never touch in Canada, and meet people and discuss things that I would never bring up. I also didn't limit myself to new experiences, and because of that literally had the best 2 weeks (specifically in Croatia) of my life. I experienced as much in that week as I usually do in months here, and I'm a better person for it.

4) I'm more of a chicken than I thought

I hate this fact, but it's true. I am always such a worrier and so careful about rules and 'doing the right thing' at home, and I didn't realize it until I had no rules to follow and hung out with a couple of bad-asses in Europe. Why the hell do I let fear of the unknown take over my life? It can be as big as deciding to go live in Europe for a while (what's stopping me) to having fun doing some water sport. And on that note....

5) ... going on the banana is OK

This was my A-HA moment of the trip. I always have had some ridiculous phobia of water, but the Aussie boys decided we were going, and there was no way of getting out of it. After freaking out when we got on, we of course flipped into the water and what happened? It was fun. It just proves that there is nothing to be scared of, and to just try new things, and just GET ON THE BANANA.

6) iPods are key

Pretty self-explanatory. Music is the chicken soup to my mind, and whatever mood I was in, my iPod had the right answer to either fix it or really make me think about it. Robin Thicke, Michael Buble and Timbaland (earlier post) really helped with that. These 3 hotties helped me fall asleep, deal with the boredom of travel at times, and bring me closer to certain people. All I have to say is that The Way I Are and Home will forever be in my memory and remind me of this trip.

7) I don't have to live in Canada

This goes along with the whole 'being a chicken' idea... the only thought that is comforting me right now is the fact that I really DON'T have to live here - I have so much opportunity to try life in another country/continent, and it doesn't scare me anymore. This is the time to try new things, especially since I often feel like a European at heart. I only feel bad for my parents, who immigrated all the way here for a better life, and now their kids are talking about going back! How ironic...

The rest of the trip.... a.k.a. CRAP

So the last few days deserve a short and sweet description... more short than sweet really. I think the Saturday I left all the lack of sleep, partying and then leaving everyone took its toll on me. By the time I took the bus, ferry, bus and was waiting at the airport, I was absolutely delirious and possibly hysterical. I decided at that point to get in touch with the fam (the real one) for the first time in a week, and called Adam at 8:30am his time to let him know I was ok. Except that I wasn't. I'm supremely glad that I didn't end up writing in the blog when I got back into London that night.. which by the way, was after 12 hours of travel and getting to the hostel I was staying at and being told that there were no beds left for me to sleep in.

Needless to say I pulled out the whoop-ass and they found me a bed. I passed out for about 8 hours, woke up and made my way to Luton Airport where there was a line of, no joke, 200 people waiting to get checked in with my airline. I highlighted the fact that there was only one hour left to my flight, and that if they wanted me on it then they should move me past the line. Which they did, and despite that I still had my name called on the way to my gate as well as having to sprint to make my plane. Long story short, the plane ended up being delayed by an hour anyway, but I needed that time to recover from smoker's lung (yes, that's right) anyway.

The movie on board was Dreamgirls - surprisingly good.

There was a little girl on the plane that kept yelling "I don't want to take off"... at first, I was extremely annoyed and then found myself about to yell along with her. I was really loathing the idea of coming to Canada, back to work and cold climate and away from everyone. This vacation definitely proved to be different, and traveling alone was not nearly as enjoyable as it was last time.

The highlight of those 2 days was when Adam picked me up from the airport - seeing my little big bro's familiar face was defintely a relief. He sat with me while I went through a whole box of tissues reminiscing about the trip... definitely not a task everyone would have sat through.

I think a little list of "lessons learned" on this trip is in order...

Friday - Bye bye Dubrovnik, Hellooooo Hvar Island

So I neglected to mention that at about 6am, I decided to postpone my trip back to London on Friday, and delay it to the Saturday flight. I decided this because out of all my ambitious plans to see Croatia, I had really ended up in Dubrovnik for 5 days, and wanted to see at least one island. Hvar Island is a lovely, more expensive and snobby Island about 1.5 hours from Split, which is where we arrived on the bus at about 12:30. After waiting til about 2:30, we hopped on a huge ferry that took us to Hvar Island.

Landing there, we found our apartment which ended up being super sweet, with 2 rooms with double beds and another with 2 beds in it with kitchen. We hit the town right away, and saw some of the nicest yachts that must have belonged to drug lords, they were so nice. Black extrior with black leather interior. DAMN.

We then enjoyed a round of beers courtesy of Ryan on the boardwalk by the boats, and roasted in the sun. The boys nearly jumped into the mini-harbour cause it was so hot, but instead we just ordered more beers.

Dan and Ryan

Forde and Heather

Jules

Matty.

Once we were done with the beers, we hit the supermarket to buy the ingredients to make a lovely homemade meal. Boys: beer, cigs, meat and more beer. Girls: yogurt, veggies, eggs, juice.

The evening had one tense moment after an interesting conversation about 'numbers', but all ended well and I had an amazing last night in Croatia with the family eating an amazing dinner made mostly by Ryan (I know!) and then chattin with the fam - not too late, since we were exhausted from the all nighter before, and the full day of travel.

The next morning I had to catch a 9:45am bus to get to the edge of the Island to get the Ferry to go back to catch my plane on time. I don't want to get into the scene I created, but thankfully only Matty saw most of it and therefore I wasn't as embarassed, but I have rarely ever felt so sad to leave a place. We shall leave it at that for now.