Dear blog, I have not forsaken thee

It has been almost a month since I have written... what a slacker I am. However, my excuse is that I was entirely undisciplined and focused on going out, sleeping in and shopping. (I am not even trying to make myself sound good.)

However, my new life activity is much more responsible and appropriate to support my lifestyle: work. I just started my new job at CGI yesterday, and it is a fantastic feeling! I will not lie that I am financially motivated to do well: Europe and my recent "summer lovin" weeks have left me considerably lighter in the wallet.

Other than it being all about the money (thanks Ivey), I am also excited to be keeping busy and contributing to some greater cause other than myself. My coworkers (thus far) are great, mostly men, but I like to be the differentiating factor anyway. Getting up in the morning is not as painful just now, but I can only imagine my change of opinion once winter comes around and it's pitch black outside.

I found that ever since I got back from Europe, I have a new attitude towards life. Sounds like a general sweeping statement, but I can feel the difference in my positive/laissez-faire reaction to events that would normally infuriate me. The change is probably imperceptible to anyone but me, but I am either much happier (no, it's not drugs), more confident or just blasé (in the most positive context possible).

I hope that this attitude stays with me, and I'm inclined to think it's a permanent change... although everyone tells me to give it a few weeks or until my boss first yells at me... here's to wishful thinking that that won't happen anytime soon.

Canada

I got back to Canada on Sunday night - the flight passed by quickly, with pockets of laughter, anger and annoyance. I didn't even know that so much could happen on a plane, until this flight, where I was placed in the middle seats of the plane, right between two families with infants (oh, the joys of babies crying in harmony). There was the anger. Then a grumpy old German lady decided to take up my arm room and give me 'tude, from which stemmed my annoyance. However, all my emotions were numbed as soon as they put the movies on. Watching Antonio Banderas cured me of any advanced mental states (in both Take The Lead and Zorro 2). When Failure to Launch came on, I got really excited - granted it's not the best movie, but Zooey Deschanel makes me want to be a lesbian - no joke, she is my huge girl crush of the moment. I laughed out loud until I cried during that movie.

Anyway, coming home was exactly what I thought - in a word, bittersweet. It was great seeing the family, and they were so enthusiastic that I couldn't help but be infected with the "joy of loving Monika" as well. My parents left for up north on Monday afternoon (they can't stand the city knowing that the new cottage is sitting empty). I have had the luxury of having the place to myself, and have enjoyed eating Nutella, pizza and watching TV for the past 2 days. I decided to get rid of all my negative habits and cravings at once - my poor body is confused, I can feel it.

We also had the best timing to meet up with my cousin Veronika, who was in TO for a few days this week. We haven't seen each other in a few years at least, and when we met up, it was like we were kids again - the days of jumping on the bed and listening to Mariah were unforgotten, although we didn't go down that road this time out of respect for our delicate bed frames. We had the greatest time with her, and found out that her sister (cousin as well) is engaged!!! How quickly we grow up... although I am nowhere near that point in my life at all. On a side note: Congratulations Maria!!!

This week, I'm basically focused on making my tiny room as livable as possible for the next few months, as I am living at home when I start work. I was 100% sure I would be living in an apartment in downtown TO by now, but unfortunately logic took over my independent spirit for now. Some good investments in an iPod and books will make the commuting bearable.

The transition from my European lifestyle to my Canadian one is slow but steady - although I can feel that some of the European influence is permanent. My perspective on life in North America is forever changed - I can't describe it very well, since it consists of little things, but I am now positive that I will end up in Europe for some portion of my life, if not permanently. I am so glad I did this trip, and that I traveled by myself: I made the arrogant presumption that I knew myself completely before this trip, and had the pleasure of discovering aspects of my character that I didn't know existed. Most surprisingly, that I am completely comfortable being alone, being independent and meeting new people. I encourage anyone (especially girls!) to travel alone at some point, as it expands the bubble that you live in a little more.

This picture is from the Karluv bridge in Prague, taken a few days ago. This is my favourite picture of me in Europe, since I can remember that at this point, I was feeling absolutely happy, confident and proud of finishing my trip. I can't wait to travel again and bring back those feelings at least one more time.